Imagine you're walking through a garden, where every flower seems to be in full bloom, and then suddenly, you spot one flower that's withering away. At first glance, it looks like just one bad flower, but then you notice the roots—it’s the soil, the environment, the lack of care that's causing it to wilt. This is how an extra-marital affair silently creeps into what seems like a perfect relationship. There are no loud alarms, no thunderous storms, just a slow and silent withering away of trust, love, and respect.
"Extra-marital affair"—just hearing these words can send a shiver down the spine. It’s a topic people hesitate to discuss openly, yet it’s a reality that many face. The hidden nature of such affairs, combined with the pain and betrayal they bring, makes them a delicate yet crucial issue to address. As a Mind Conditioning Coach, I'm here to delve into this sensitive subject, not with judgment, but with understanding and guidance.
Jab ek shaadi-shuda insaan kisi aur ke saath rishta banata hai, woh sirf ek dhokha nahi hota, balki woh un emotions ka khalipan hota hai jo apne jeevan saathi ke saath hone chahiye the. Log aksar kehte hain, "Woh sirf ek galti thi," lekin us galti ke peeche ek badi kahani hoti hai—ek kahani jo unke mann mein dard, tanhaayi, aur samajhne ki kami se paida hoti hai.
Bahut se log jo iss problem se guzar rahe hote hain, unko lagta hai ki shayad unme hi koi kami thi, ya phir unhone hi apne rishton ko samajhne mein galti ki. Ye soch unke khud ke upar shanka aur apne aap ko doshi maanne ki bhavna ko paida kar sakti hai. Ye ek aisi situation hai jisme dono hi log, affair karne wala aur jisse dhokha mila, apni jagah par takleef me hote hain. Aksar, shayad pyaar mein kami nahi hoti, balki samay aur emotions ki samajh mein antar hota hai.
Toh yeh sab shuru kaise hota hai? Extra-marital affair aksar kisi emotional disconnect ya dissatisfaction ke wajah se shuru hota hai. Jab do log, jo ek dusre ke saath jeevan bitane ka vaada karte hain, ek doosre se emotionally door hone lagte hain, toh ye dooriyan kisi teesre insaan ke paas jaana asaan bana deti hain.
Iska pehla lakshan hai communication ka tootna. Jab partners ek dusre se apni baatein share nahi karte, apne dukh-sukh nahi batate, toh voh doori paida hoti hai jo kisike aur kareeb jaane ka raasta banati hai. Phir aata hai unmet expectations ka phase—jab ek partner ko doosre se jo ummeed hoti hai, voh poori nahi hoti. Yeh expectations emotional, physical ya mental bhi ho sakti hain. Jab yeh unmet reh jaati hain, toh dissatisfaction paida hota hai.
Aur jab yeh dissatisfaction apne charam par pahunchta hai, tab hota hai emotional detachment. Aap physically toh apne partner ke saath hote hain, lekin emotionally aap kahin aur hote hain. Yahi detachment kabhi-kabhi kisi teesre insaan mein emotional fulfillment dhoondhne ki taraf le jaata hai. Iska effect kya hota hai? Pehle aap apne partner se door hote hain, phir guilt aur regret aapke mann mein ghar kar lete hain. Aur yeh hi situation ek bada mental stress, anxiety, aur depression tak ka raasta banata hai.
Ye problem sirf India tak seemit nahi hai, yeh ek global epidemic ban chuka hai. Ek research ke mutabiq, India mein har ek ghante mein lagbhag 10 log apne partners ke sath extra-marital affair mein involved hote hain. Aur yeh number din-ba-din badh raha hai. Western countries mein toh yeh ratio aur bhi zyada hai, jahaan har 5 mein se 1 shaadi extra-marital affair ke karan toot jaati hai.
Bharat mein, ek survey ke anusar, shaadi-shuda logon mein se 45% ne kabhi na kabhi apne partner ke alawa kisi aur ke saath romantic ya physical connection banaya hai. Yeh data bataata hai ki yeh sirf ek random issue nahi hai, balki ek gehra samajik masla hai jo hamare relationships ko nuksan pahucha raha hai.
Solving the Problem
Ab sawal yeh hai ki iska hal kya hai? Jaise har ek relationship alag hoti hai, waisa hi iska solution bhi personal aur unique hota hai. Magar yeh yaad rakhna zaroori hai ki koi bhi problem tab tak solve nahi hoti jab tak uspar kaam nahi kiya jata. Extra-marital affair se nikalne ka pehla kadam hai self-awareness aur acceptance.
Ek choti si virtual kahani sochiye—Ravi aur Anjali ki. Ravi ne apne doston ke beech popular hone ke chakkar mein apni biwi Anjali se doori banayi. Yeh dooriyan itni badh gayi ki Ravi apne colleague, Seema ke kareeb ho gaya. Pehle toh Ravi ne iss connection ko ignore kiya, lekin dheere-dheere yeh ek affair mein badal gaya. Jab Ravi ko yeh ehsaas hua ki voh Anjali se kitni door ho gaya hai, tab tak der ho chuki thi. Lekin, Anjali ne ek kadam aage badhakar Ravi ke saath openly communicate kiya, apni feelings batayi, aur Ravi ko apni galti samajh aayi.
Unhone apne relationship ko rebuild karne ke liye counselling li, aur apni shadi ko bachaya. Is example mein jo lesson hai, voh yeh hai ki communication aur mutual respect har relationship ka base hota hai. Jab aap emotionally connect hote hain, aur apni feelings openly share karte hain, tab aap apne rishton ko mazeed mazboot kar sakte hain.
Ek aur practical solution hai "Mind Conditioning Therapy". Yeh ek aisa process hai jisme aap apne emotional patterns ko identify kar sakte hain, unhe transform kar sakte hain, aur apne relationships ko naye nazariye se dekh sakte hain. Aksar log apne past ke experiences ko carry karte hain, jo unke present relationships ko effect karta hai. Is therapy ke zariye, aap apni unresolved emotions ko clear kar sakte hain, aur apne partner ke saath ek naya aur better connection develop kar sakte hain.
Agar aap bhi apne relationship mein aise kisi situation ka samna kar rahe hain, ya phir aapko lagta hai ki aapko apne emotional patterns ko samajhne ki zaroorat hai, toh mere 1:1 Mind Conditioning Therapy sessions ke liye register karein. Yeh sessions aapke man aur dil ke beech ki gap ko bridge karne mein madad karenge, taaki aap apne relationships mein ek nayi energy laa sakein.
